Not A Vanilla Girl
by SnowWhiteSmiles
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING INSIDE. Dark, horrific, mature fic. AU Mental Institution. Belle French has been broken and cracked for a long time... and her Doctor is looking better and better, studying her with an intriguingly impassioned kind of interest. It seems like she has found True Love after all this time... and she'll stand by him to the end.
1. Chapter 1: The Fervent Genesis

**Author's Note** : The Rumbelle relationship is a study, I think, in power dynamics and it's clearly unhealthy and problematic within the canon of the show. This fic will be no different, exploring the theme of a Doctor falling in love with a patient. This is a very dark fanfiction, and not at all fluffy. It will deal with horrific and mature themes, which will be written with as much taste as possible. I am not a psychologist but I will try to remain respectful. Once again, this is a very dark fanfiction.

 **TRIGGER WARNING** : Mental institution, mental illness, loss of personal power, sexual assault, narcissistic abuse, sexism, loss of children, character death, violence (domestic or otherwise), several abuse triggers and themes, amnesia, alcohol abuse, cheating, blackmail.

On a side note, this idea has been dear to me since Belle's first episode debuted years ago. It was strengthened several times over the seasons with Belle's frequent trips to the hospital. However, I see it has been done on Fanfiction dot net before! Go ahead and read Wiccagirl24's fic, "Things Half In Shadow" for a very smart story. There may be others that I have not yet come across, and I'm sure they're all very good :) I hope my take on the idea of Belle being in an institution can compete with the other fanfics out there.

 _Once upon a time in a golden tower in a not-so-distant land, there was a rose and honey Princess with smoke between her teeth._

 _She could taste betrayal, hatred and envy as she fell backwards through iron-barred doors, blinking her blue eyes up at her captor. Her Master. Her Fate._

 _The Crocodile - a half-man of shadow and deceit - held in his claw-like hand a jar of hair, willingly taken from both of her beloved parents. It was the key ingredient to a Dark Curse that would stop her from going gray or being sunkissed, keeping her a prisoner and servant for all time._

 _"You belong to me now," He cackled, his voice like ash and ice._

 _The Princess flung herself at him, wanting to tear at him, to hurt him, but he had left and closed the doors._

Belle French's face was hollow and her blue eyes were empty, her legs gathered underneath her in a tight knot as she watched her father leave her new bedroom. She hiccupped in protest, blinking back tears.

"No…" She whined, wrapping herself in her boyfriend's red flannel shirt and shaking her head. "No, no…"

Belle stood abruptly and rushed after her father, nearly knocking down one of her new roommates in the process. She ignored the other girl's indignant response and raced down the hall, the shirt billowing out behind her as she started to cry.

"Papa!" She exclaimed, her breathing rough and short. "Papa, come back!"

Her father turned around swiftly to catch her in his arms as an orderly approached, looking grim. Belle buried her face in his suit, smelling the roses he sold and the tobacco of his cigars.

"You'll be fine, Belle," Her father whispered into her hair. "You'll be safe here. Gaston and I will visit every week, I promise. You need to focus on getting better…"

"I don't want to get better," Belle sobbed into his shoulder. "I - I want to be with you, I want to be at home…"

The orderly smiled at her. She was a kind looking woman, round-faced with a pixie cut, pink cheeks and milky skin.

"Belle, why don't we get you settled?" She said, her voice sweet but firm. "Your papa will be back in a few days."

Belle made an odd choking sound.

"But I want to be with my papa," She said, her voice trembling. "He's not safe on his own."

"I'm sure your papa will be fine," The orderly cooed, her eyes meeting Belle's father's as her he began to stroke her shoulder. "Won't you?"

"I'll be fine knowing that my daughter is safe," Mr. French said with a nod, slowly prying Belle away from his chest. "I know you'll take good care of her here."

"We will," The orderly said, her brown eyes bright and cheery. "Goodbye, Mr. French, it was lovely meeting you."

Belle stumbled backwards, holding onto the orderly's hand.

 _No, no, he wouldn't be safe. Papa wouldn't be safe with Gaston around. She had to protect him. He didn't understand… but she couldn't tell him. He could be hurt if he knew_.

"Goodbye, papa," She said quietly, her heart numbing and her stomach turning.

Her father stayed still, watching her with his arms crossed in a powerful pose until the orderly had closed her bedroom door.

"What was that?"

Belle jumped at the clear, angry voice, bursting into tears again. The orderly gently hushed her and glared at the irritable girl who Belle had only vaguely registered before pushing against the wall as she fought to get to her papa.

"I-I'm sorry!" Belle cried, a hand flying up to cover her mouth. "I just wanted to see my papa!"

The irritable girl's eyes were forgiving, and her mouth slackened slightly, her head tilting.

"I'm sorry," The girl said, her voice sincere. "I didn't see him come in with you. I understand that this is difficult." She snorted, making a sweeping movement with one hand. "I mean, I went through it with my Granny. I remember."

The orderly helped Belle to her new bed, which had her largest suitcase on it from home. Belle didn't bother to start unpacking it. Feeling pacified by the girl's sympathy – her _roommate's_ sympathy - Belle took a moment to observe her.

Her new roommate was very tall and strikingly gorgeous, with shining black hair streaked with blood red, perfectly manicured red nails and a mouth stained with a blue-based _red_ lipstick. She wore a black t-shirt, ripped jeans and a black and scarlet choker.

"I'm Ruby," The girl said, plainly trying to ease the tension by introducing herself.

Belle sat on her bed and crumpled her hands under her legs, quivering.

"I'm Belle," She murmured.

"Hi, Belle," Ruby's voice was soft, and she waved jovially. She looked at the orderly, who was loosening the folded sheets at the foot of the bed. "I'll give you two some privacy."

With that, she was gone.

"Belle," The orderly looked at Belle patiently until she stood and allowed her to complete her task. After she finished making the bed, she asked: "Are you ready?"

Belle nodded her head, took the orderly's hand and looked up at her silently, her face grave and lined with worry.

"I'm Mary Margaret," The orderly said. "I'm on duty during the day, from six in the morning until about –" She bopped her head back and fourth with her eyes searching the ceiling "- four in the afternoon. I'm in a few times a month, and I can answer any questions you have."

Belle nodded, lips parting slightly.

"Let's go explore," Mary Margaret said, squeezing Belle's hand playfully. Belle couldn't help but let a tiny smile slip out.

Mary Margaret dropped her hand as they left the room and began to walk down the hall, which smelled vaguely of lavender and cleaning products – soap, disinfectant, and something cottony.

"Welcome to Storybrooke General Hospital's Mental Health Ward," Mary Margaret said, her tone suddenly more business-like. "There are four staff members on duty at all times, including two physiatrists. You will have certain privileges, and more liberty is earned over the first few weeks of your stay. You are even free to go into other people's rooms – with their permission."

The two of them stopped in front of a large and empty room, painted porcelain blue and white with stainless steel kitchen appliances, a refrigerator, an ice machine, a sink and a sectioned off area that must have been a kitchen. There were many long, plastic tables with old, burnt-orange chairs that had tennis balls on the feet like an old woman's walker. Mary Margaret's hands were balled up in front of her, so like Belle's papa that it made her feel dizzy.

"This is the kitchen. Breakfast is served at eight am, lunch at noon, and dinner at six. You can ask for water at any time, and there's usually apple juice or orange juice with your meals. We'll be having salmon tonight!"

Across from the kitchen was another room, this one with a flat-screen that was turned on to a Netflix show with a laugh track. Ruby was there and watching Belle apprehensively, sitting next to a very pretty girl with wavy, caramel-brown hair and chic black and green clothes. There were a couple other patients inside, not much older than Belle was, but the glowering look on Ruby's friend's face made Belle nervous and she turned back to Mary Margaret.

"Across from the kitchen is the TV room, and adjacent to that is the sun room. That's where most of our patients spend their time during the day when they're not in their bedrooms. There are group activities every day; the schedule is on the board." Mary Margaret tapped a slender hand against a cork board with colourful lists and various papers on it. Belle nodded, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Come on," Mary Margaret said, ducking her head and marching forward. She seemed to see the patients staring at Belle, no doubt curious about the fresh meat, and wanted to save her some embarrassment. She showed Belle the bathrooms and explained that cellphones were not permitted, which Belle already knew. There was an iPad that was shared by way of a schedule, with a maximum of two half hour periods allotted to it a day.

"After three days, you'll be allowed downstairs to the main cafeteria for fifteen-minute periods. After a week, your time can be increased to an hour and you _will_ be allowed to leave the building _if_ you remain on the premises. There is a coffee shop, vending machines, a library, a garden –" Mary Margaret's face showed excitement "- a rooftop sitting area and a gift shop. The roof and garden are secured and safe, though you may be observed if anyone thinks you are in any danger."

Belle nodded, her eyes not leaving Mary Margaret's profile. She almost tripped but righted herself at the last second.

"Oops! You ok?" Mary Margaret asked. Belle sucked on her lip and nodded again. They walked on, and Mary Margaret continued.

"You will have sessions with your psychiatrist, Dr. Gold, once a day. He's got lots of experience, and he's been working here for a long time. You have two roommates – you've met Ruby – and Kelly, who just came in yesterday. You will be visited by Ms. Blue in a few minutes – she's the head of operations around here, she's very nice. She'll finish your orientation. And I'll be on the floor if you need anything."

Mary Margaret smiled again.

"Do you have any questions?"

Belle took a couple of steadying breaths. Mary Margaret had been so good to her this morning and she had such a calming presence, but Belle couldn't help that she still felt rattled. There was a lot of information to take in and she didn't feel comfortable being here yet.

"No," She said, trying to sound confident. "I'll be fine."

"Okay," Said Mary Margaret.

 _Papa said I will be fine_ , Belle thought as Mary Margaret The Orderly left the room. Belle gulped and sat, feeling the white linen of her hospital bed against her fingers. For the first time, she really saw her room. She wasn't sure how long she would have to stay here, but it had been implied by her father before they left the house that it might be a long time. The room was big and sunny, with light gray walls, three beds and a joint bathroom that had a sink, toilet and shower. From what Belle could see from her position, the bathroom had a lot of cosmetics in it. She wouldn't have much to add to the mess.

The bed next to her own was at the far edge of the room and next to the window. There was a fuzzy blanket on it, with a huge gray wolf howling at the moon. It was covered in magazines, with a crimson duffle bag stuffed under it. Across from that at the other end of the wall-long window was a bed with a pile of fashionable clothes, a forest green duvet and fluffy pillows. Her own bed had no such personal touches.

Belle sniffed thickly and accidentally inhaled her boyfriend's scent, left on his shirt. Choking on the stench, she ripped the shirt off and threw it on the bed, stripping down to her periwinkle tank top and jeans. She smacked the shirt repeatedly with the palms of her hands.

"Ugh!" She grunted. "Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!"

After a minute, she gathered the shirt in her hands once more and brought it to her lips.

It reeked of expensive cologne and made her feel like she was going to scream.


	2. Chapter 2: The First Glance

Adam Gold set his cane aside and cautiously seated himself at his desk, logging on to the computer and clicking the file of his newest patient. Though he had yet to meet her, she had a name he wouldn't soon forget: Belle French. Lovely.

Taking a deep breath, he leafed through the pages of the file. Belle French had been previously diagnosed with social anxiety, generalized anxiety, panic disorder, depression and anorexia. She was currently on several medications, most of which she probably didn't even need. He growled under his breath. Dr. Gold didn't mind people being in this profession for the money. After all, he himself was. However, he couldn't stand incompetence. Two of these medications interacted with the others badly. The Ativan and Prozac may have been necessary, but why bring anti-psychotics to the table? He would know more by the end of the first meeting.

His read revealed that the patient's Mother had died in a car crash when the patient had been fifteen, following an extremely messy divorce that had spanned the course of several years. Following this event, her Father had turned to alcohol abuse. Despite these set-backs, Belle French had finished High School on time and had even attended a decent college. It was there that she met her boyfriend of three years, a young man named Gaston. Their relationship was clearly close – she mentioned him often and had even brought up the subject of marriage in recent sessions. Since graduating college, Belle French had taken up a position as receptionist in her Father's flower shop on Storybrooke's main street, a mere three blocks away from Granny's Diner, the social hub of town. The patient had been admitted to the hospital because her Father had noticed a marked increase in her tendency to isolate herself at home after work, along with more frequent anxiety attacks and crying spells. Her former therapist also mentioned that the patient had begun to blankly stare into space and had a decreased ability to follow a conversation that did not seem to be a side affect of medication.

It was odd, Dr. Gold thought vaguely, that someone who had never been close to any of her school mates could have such a stable and seemingly trouble-free romantic relationship right off the bat. Indeed, there were no previously mentioned friends of Belle French at all. Only the patient's Father, and Gaston. A quick scan of the patient's elementary and High School years revealed that most students had been put off by Belle French's emotional nature during the divorce and her frequent anxiety attacks, leading her to isolate herself in books. How did a girl with such poor social skills find such a supportive significant other?

Dr. Gold closed the file and took a deep breath. Reaching for his cane, he stood slowly. It was time to meet his new patient.

Belle heard a knock on the door and emerged shakily from the pile of clothes and books she had strewn carelessly on her bed. Her boyfriend's shirt, now smelling of her rose perfume, was now pinned under a can of butterscotch sweets and her copy of _The Phantom of the Opera_.

"Yes?" She said, her voice high and clear despite her unsteady demeanor.

A pair of sensible black shoes and a blue suit were the first things that Belle noticed. The woman was short and slight, smaller than that Mary Margaret orderly, and had a kind but stern face with brown hair curled at the top of her head.

"Hello, Belle," The woman said with a smile. "How are you settling in?"

"You must be Ms. Blue," Belle said, reaching to clutch one of the notebooks she had brought with her.

"Yes, I am," Ms. Blue sat next to Belle on the bed. "I see you've started unpacking."

Belle felt a wave of embarrassment; she had started unpacking, but had begun to daydream about being a Princess trapped in a castle by a Crocodile King and had gotten distracted. Daydreams were so much more comforting than admitting that she was stuck in a hospital for the next few weeks.

"Yeah," Belle said with a curt nod. "I mean, yes."

"Well, I won't keep you, then," Ms. Blue said. "I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Ms. Blue, I'm Mother Superior in the town of Storybrooke. This hospital is owned by the church. I've been working with the disadvantaged for nearly twenty years. It is in my best interest that your stay is comfortable and safe. I hear that you were taken care of earlier by Mary Margaret?"

Belle swallowed. Ms. Blue continued.

"She's very kind. The orderlies are now on duty. You will still see Mary Margaret often, she's here several times a month."

Belle nodded. It didn't really interest her if Mary Margaret was here often, but it was clear that Ms. Blue thought highly of her. Ms. Blue began to speak again, leaning in a fraction.

"Now, there is something I want you to understand, Belle. Please don't be alarmed. This is something I prefer to talk to the patients with on my own. We take our patient's safety and health very seriously here. If you were to harm yourself or plan to harm someone else, we would have to intervene and even call the police. We just want everyone to be safe. Do you understand me?"

Belle nodded again, forcing a smile. She wasn't big on cutting or other forms of self-harm as far as she was concerned and was generally non-violent. This was no big deal.

"Good," Ms. Blue said. "Now, you have two roommates right now: Ruby and Kathy. They're nice girls. They seem to have taken a shining to you already."

Belle sincerely doubted that.

Ms. Blue patted Belle's hand.

"It will turn out alright in the end," She said with a warm smile. "You'll see!"

Belle subconsciously curled her fingers around Ms. Blue's, but pulled away within seconds.

"Dr. Gold will be in to see you shortly," Ms. Blue said. "Why don't you finish cleaning up?"

Belle nodded and immediately began to clean her bed off, putting her things in the shelf next to her bedside table. Ms. Blue left, and Belle was alone again. That made her feel a little more calm, more in control. She had liked being alone ever since her parents began to fight at night, she knew that. It didn't take a genius to figure out why.

Hearing another knock on the door, Belle managed to answer. "Come in!" She said over her shoulder.

A short, attractive man with deep lines around his mouth stood in the doorway. Belle felt her eyes widen. He had chin-length russet hair and arresting, large dark eyes. He was older than she was, perhaps by about twenty years. He wore a tailored black suit and a gray tie. He had a cane and a grim expression.

"Hello, Belle," He said softly. "May I come in?"

Belle felt nervous.

"Yes," She said, busying herself with her remaining tokens from home. Thank goodness she had put her clothes away already.

The man walked in. He had a steady pace, walking as if he owned the room.

"This is your first day in Storybrooke General Hospital," He observed. Belle nodded again.

"Yes," She said, placing _The Phantom of the Opera_ on the bookshelf. Shelf. Shelf for everything, not just books.

"Have you met your roommates yet?" He stopped a few steps from her. She still hadn't turned to face him.

"Not yet," She said, closing her suitcase. "Well, I met Ruby. She seems nice."

It was a lie. It was a test.

"You don't think that," The man said. "You're not sure if Ruby likes you at all. Did something happen?"

Belle felt her cheeks burning.

"I bumped into her earlier," She said honestly. "I – I knocked her over. I don't know if she will forgive me…"

The man was quiet for a fraction of a second.

"I think you'll find that Ruby is very understanding of… outbursts of emotion," He said. "She won't hold it against you. Kelly is more of a… trouble maker, but very kind once you get to know her."

He held out a hand to her and she stared at it. He wore a ring on his middle finger, a gold one with a dark red garnet in the center.

"I'm Dr. Gold," He said. "It's very nice to meet you, Belle."

Belle took his hand tentatively and shook it twice.

"It's nice to meet you too," She said. "I heard… I mean, you're my doctor?"

She couldn't imagine opening up to this powerful, intimidating man. He had a large presence that overwhelmed her, and he was very handsome. She half wondered if she would be better off with a female doctor.

"Yes," Dr. Gold said. She could smell his minty breath. "I will be observing you during your stay."

Belle nodded again, her lips tight, and moved to put her suitcase under the bed. Dr. Gold's hand shot out at the same time, and in one swift motion he had taken possession of her empty suitcase.

"Here," He said. "Let me."

Before Belle could respond, he slid it under the bed with one foot.

"Thank – thank you," Belle muttered, wringing her hands together and turning to face her doctor. Her fate.

"Your first session with me will be tomorrow at eight a.m.," Dr. Gold said. "I hope you will join me."

Belle didn't understand. Did she have a choice? She said nothing, simply looking at her doctor and swallowing. There was a moment's pause.

"Very well," Dr. Gold said. "Have a good day, Belle. I'm sure you will fit in here."

Dr. Gold left the room and Belle placed a hand over her heart. For some reason, it was beating rapidly, and she tried her best to do some box-breathing.

 _In two four, pause two four, out two four._

She sat on her bed, adjusting her shirt. Why was she so happy?


End file.
